We arrived in Kuta and soon realised that the locals want to sell you everything and anything, this is when you need to decide on tactics, mine was to laugh and smile over enthusiastically or just run to get past them... "No thanks I don't want a watch, a massage, a sarong, dinner, a penis shaped bottle opener, a book, a bracelet or that t-shirt that says "Born to fist" in dodgy bubble writing! (Saying all that it is genuinely funny when they shout "lovely jubbly" or some other phrase at you as you run past).
The next thing to note about Kuta is that you can drink A LOT- so of course we did ! One night resulted in my eye being on the receiving end of a sticky situation which will haunt me for the rest of my life and another night consisted of climbing around in cages, licking people's faces and ending up on the Sky Garden roof (a 5 storey club that is essentially a strip club before 10pm) dancing like maniacs in the rain to anything the DJ fancied, mostly an eclectic mix of Reggae, D'n'B and my school era of R'n'b - perfect!
My hair the morning after my "sexy" rain dancing was tangled into a mass dreadlock- at least I looked like half my heroes from the night before!
It's safe to say that health and safety laws do not apply in Kuta, I came to this conclusion after seeing a man stood barefoot digging up the road whilst his mate smoothed down the road with his moped. Oh and from the way everyone drives... there appears to be no rules! I actually find all this refreshing though. England takes everything far to seriously and everything is forbidden- well not here you can even get high and carry a snake round your neck for all anyone cares!
I found a favourite spot in Kuta which was a little out the way from the madness and also a little out my price range but they sold two of my very favourite things in this world- frozen lemonade and savoury crepes. It is called The Kitchenette and not only is the food fantastic but they have lie down beds (great spot for people watching), delicious cocktails, friendly staff, great music and the place is filled with genius quirks like serving drinks in jars, cardboard menus (from a design point of view the best menu's I've seen in a while), build your own salad and handwritten notes on their mirrors with quotes such as "laugh as much as you breathe, love as long as you live". I love everything about it so much it could actually be my own restaurant.
Despite the craziness of Kuta I will be sure to pass I through whenever I visit Bali again... It is so full of holiday happiness that is only necessary for a night or two!
